Going to write this one a little Studio 60 style to give the full flavour of the first Scottish Social Media Dinner, so pull up a chair for 3300 words… but thanks to everyone who came along. We managed 33 out of the expected 36 guests, there were speakers, there was fish and there was chips, so to that extent, job done.

Behind the scenes though, it was fecking bedlam.

(cue Jack Bauer/24 style ticking clock)

Yesterday morning kicked off with the normal sort of nerves/buzz/excitement that you have before any event you’re involved with. It’s a good feeling because you should be tingly about events you’re involved with. If you’ve no passion for them, there’s little point.

Decide early on not to create a Google Wave for the event. I’d rather people were talking the old fashioned way and besides, it’s hard to do a Wave when you’ve got a fish supper to eat.

The nerves go into overdrive though when I see a bunch of emails from people saying ‘can’t wait to see you tonight, will pay at the door’ and I’m going ‘ehhh, no, it’s sold out and the posts have always had a link to the ticket site’. Cue a few phone calls and emails to see just how many The Chippy Doon The Lane can take and I’m told that 36 is as good as it gets. Fair enough. So a few emails and tweets takes care of that.

Then one of the attendees – someone who had volunteered to be a backup speaker and would have been great for the audience – gets in touch and says he can’t make it, there’s a senior relative in hospital. Totally understand, feel for the guy, go back to the day to day digital PR and social media work.

4.30pm: Just heading out the door when David Petherick calls and tells me his wife has been in a car crash. Fortunately she’s OK, but understandably enough, he wants to look after her. One down, but that’s OK, I can move ’should Santa Claus use Social Media’ from a side item to a chat. We can survive.

5.10pm: Get to the venue and discover civillians sitting, eating their fish and chips. I ask what’s happening and am told that the venue can take more than 36 and these people popped in for food. Now I’ve nothing against Glaswegians eating but a) we could have filled the place and b) how much fun is it going to be for them when we start doing the talks? Not happy, but it’s a bit late to say ‘right everyone, we’re off to All Bar One’.

5.15pm: Notice that the 3G reception is awful. Consoled myself by saying that at least it would stop negative tweets getting out.

5.20pm: Iain Bruce heads in. “Sorry man,” he says, “Steve’s plane isn’t back from Germany.” Now that’s a FFS moment as Iain getting Steve Leach, the former bossman of Bigmouthmedia along was a total crowd puller in my opinion. Iain says he has a backup chat prepared, but we bump him from first speaker to last in case Steve makes it (Steve ends up landing in London apparently, so there were surprises for everyone on the night!). Two speakers down consider jumping out window, then practically burst into tears of joy as Eddie Pearson – one of the speakers – walks in and appears healthy and still able to talk.

5.25pm: People start to turn up as do text messages from various parts of the Edinburgh contingent coming through. They’re all stuck in various forms of traffic. Take totally undemocratic decision to hold event off a wee bit to give them a chance to get here.

5.27pm: Eddie Pearson points out to me that no one in podcast land knows who he is in the real world (and vice versa) and tonight is his public ‘outing’ as such. Realise that technically, I’m the only speaker on the list from the announced ones. Consider changing name just to make the night complete.

5.45pm: Realise that this is some crowd gathered. There’s people there at the top of their game in journalism, PR, social media, analytics, affiliate marketing, domain name purchasing and strategy.

6pm: Kick off, having held off as long as possible and twist the concept of social media/digital PR as far as I can go without being a foodie…

Why Social Media/Digital PR is seen like brown sauce on fish & chips

For people in the East Coast of Scotland, “salt and sauce” is the only phrase to hear when ordering fish and chips. Say it to a Glaswegian and you provoke a ridiculously strong reaction the opposite way (in fact, it can even unite fans of the Old Firm). The point being that for some it is an esoteric, weirdo misunderstood thing while for others it is essential.

And while it’s better to see it as essential, to see social media as the brown sauce at all is wrong.

Yes, the fish and the chips are the main thing – your products say – but the social and digital PR media efforts can’t be just a side dish. It’s the batter surrounding the fish because everything you do now affects public perception of your company (or fish). A poor sales person in a store is now as much bad PR as a shoddy product: both will get pulled up and criticised on Twitter, Facebook, blogs and elsewhere.

In 2009, every aspect of your company is now part of communications. The comms have to be all-encompassing around your company and products, like the batter on a fish.

Everything you do has the potential to be spoken about by you, your customers or your competitors. And nowadays most of that conversation is on digital platforms.

(Kinda went a bit Seth Goodin there didn’t we?)

Anyway, after that we all went back to eating. The soup came and left and I got up to take a pop at one of the world’s last standing monopolies, Santa Claus.

Should Santa Claus use Social Media/Digital PR? No.

Consider an Elf called Patch. Patch is keen and ambitious. Patch sees others using Twitter, Vimeo, Facebook, blogs, YouTube, Spotify, AudioBoo and wants in there. He thinks Santa could deliver a bumper time online.

So Patch nags Santa and Santa, being the good guy, lets Patch go and start doing stuff, which he does. Suddenly there’s blogs and tweets and what have you within minutes of getting the nod.

And that’s Patch’s THIRD mistake. He’s just ran out there and started doing it, which you can do but for best use of time and effort he should have looked at Santa’s overall PR, marketing and communications plan and seen how the digital aspects integrate with it, making best use of all resources and being able to plan and strategise ahead.

Patch’s first mistake was not checking what’s already out there – even a basic SWOT analysis – because if he had done that he would have spotted things like the incredible www.portablenorthpole.tv and wondered if he needed to do any more.

But Patch beavers away and as he’s doing all this himself, he finds himself in a bind. He’s now having to do all this extra work – podcasting, tweeting, filming, editing – as well as his main duties because he never cleared a change in workload with Santa. So now, he’s more tired than ever – but the toys still get made.

Patch also – because he’s done this as a one-man band and just rushed in without talking to the other elves – misses some great stories from parts of the Grotto. Tales and expertise that are missed because instead of people in each part of the Grotto (sub-Grotto?) doing some of the digital PR, he’s doing it all.

However, the toys get made, the tweets get tweeted. Everything is out there for the 25th and everyone sits down to read Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus and watch It’s A Wonderful Life (the black and white version).

Then, something goes wrong… suddenly there’s all these complaints appearing. More than ever. “Santa, where’s me fucking bike?”; “I never wanted a pink dollshouse,” and so on. Because there’s now a direct outlet to Santa, people are going straight to him, engaging with him and as Santa is finding out, complaints travel quicker than praise and build more momentum too.

Now as it’s Xmas, Patch doesn’t reply for a few days, so the situation gets worse with people wondering if Santa’s inept or if there’s something bigger behind it: is there a conspiracy against certain people just as Amazon was accused of in 2009. With no response from the House of Claus, people assume the worst. And it spreads.

Now because this is the talk of the web, then the traditional media report on it. Now all they do is report what others are saying, but it keeps the fires burning and at this point Patch is in full on crisis PR mode.

But with all these people being unhappy, someone (probably in California) gets an idea: why don’t we improve upon Santa. GoogleSanta or SantaTorrent perhaps? Take the best of Santa 1.0 and enhance.

So now, Santa has competition. And if that competition even takes a few per cent of the market, you can bet someone else will come in and try and out-Santa the two Santa’s.

“But Santa gives away things for free” you cry. So does most of the web (including physical products) so that’s not an issue.

So, thanks to Patch doing Santa posting, his monopoly and goodwill of hundreds of years is under threat and he’s facing possible redundancy whereas if he stayed quiet, there would have been mystique, wonder and awe.

A bit like Apple.

Why Santa should be like Apple

Apple are credited as being very important in the social media and digital scene. Heck, MP3 recordings are now named after a product of theirs and the iPhone/iPod have put a lot more people online all of the time.

But Apple isn’t a social media or digital communications company.

Where’s the blogs from Apple insiders? Where’s the official videos or tweets? Where’s the chats with Mr Ives about the iMacs that never made it? A look at the design ethos behind each product. Where’s the two-way engagement?

It’s not there. Apple has a web presence that if it was any more old-school would have Rachel Welsh in a fur bikini. It has a website and a store, thank you very much. iTunes at heart is just a store. A lot of it is free, but it’s still a store.

But people love Apple. They talk about every little rumour, every snippet. There’s mystery, there’s awe. What would be run of the mill for anyone else gets different treatment when it’s Apple.

Another reason Patch shouldn’t be blogging as Santa

(and this was the bit I left out last night)

He’s not real. Impersonating another person online is fraudulent under the laws of many countries.

Anti-social Media

It was a deliberately anti-social media talk, purely to get people chatting and to apply some common sense to the zerg-like rush some people have of “OMG we must be on Twitter,Facebook and everything else NOW! YESTERDAY!” I believe Digital PR and what we currently call social media are more mainstream than many realise – and will continue to be more integrated as 2010 goes on – but it needs to be part of the overall comms message. Another point I wanted to come out of the night – as Eddie Pearson went on to show – is that there is more than one way of doing this. You can plan your heart out or you can just jump online and do it. Both ways work, it’s about finding what works for you.

Anyway, I then munched down fish and chips (forgot to have brown sauce), thinking the worst for me was over. Eddie Pearson then stood up to talk about podcasting.

Podcasting

Eddie, for me, was one of the main draws of the night. Podcasting can be done – and sound very expert – for a budget of around £500. Less if you are willing to cut some corners. What also made Eddie standout for me was the fact that we were getting a punter in, not someone obsessed with ROI or looking after the PR client. This is the end guy, the person we’re trying to reach, so to hear his thoughts – even if just on one part of social media interaction – was going to be useful.

Eddie explained the background to his podcast Celtic Underground and the trials and tribulations of being on iTunes and the thought process behind names for the podcast so that people would find it easily.

He also pointed out the kit that he uses, offered some pointers on the different ways you can use it – software like Skype means you don’t need everyone in one room for example – and the battles that amateur podcasts can have, like running out of money when you want to go to the next level.

He showed there are market openings in the podcast sector – particularly in Scotland – which could be revenue streams – and reinforced that most topics are interesting to somebody. He may not be interested in engineering, but someone will be. Agriculture, beer, parenting – all good and relevant topics for podcasts and as long as the content is interesting, people will listen. It doesn’t need to be stereo sound (in fact, he advised against it for bandwidth and storage charge reasons) and sounds like a Radio1 studio. If the sound is audible and the content compelling, people will listen.

He also pointed out that people do become creatures of habit, even for non-linear formats like podcasts. People get into a routine of “it’s Thursday I’ll download that podcast and listen to it on the way to work” and keeping that going is a challenge. As Eddie pointed out, Celtic Underground is meant to be a weekly podcast, they’ve been going for a few years but are only at number 67. (I personally think they’ve stopped there due to Celtic fan’s affinity with that number.)

Eddie also spoke about the problems he can have getting guests on. He told the tale of a prominent Scottish politician who pulled out of a show at the last minute because there was no equivalent Rangers podcast and the political advisors felt that to favour one side over the other would show a bias that could potentially cost votes. And while some may see that just as a football issue, it could apply to many areas, including political podcasts.

I enjoyed Eddie’s material. If there’s a night where we talk about the various aspects of social media, I’d have him back in to talk as he clearly gets podcasting, enjoys it and is definitely in a position to advise others.

Bye

And then, keeping with the unpredictable nature of the night, things got worse. The waitress came over and told me that there was no mint choc chip ice cream left. Then I left.

Not because of the ice cream though. What actually happened was this. As Eddie finished, I received  a phone call from my mother, starting with the immortal lines “now, nothing’s wrong but…” It turned out she’d been having chest pains which had been feeling quite bad, she called NHS 24 who sent out a paramedic. He did some tests and called for an ambulance, which then turned up. At that point, mum thought to call as they were taking her to Monklands Hospital. (I haven’t asked yet if it was the chest pains or the fact she was going to Monklands that prompted the call.)

No disrespect to anyone in the audience, but I was out of there. Fortunately, Scott Douglas was able to step in and look after the rest of the night, showing that he’s not just the man when it comes to Edinburgh PR and getting positive PR in Edinburgh for his clients, he’s also a dab hand at just picking up a baton and looking after an event.

(for those who have asked: my mum was released from Monklands just after 11pm. She still has the pains but after carrying out ECGs and Heart Trace’s they couldn’t find anything wrong so they sent her home and told her to make an appointment with her doctor. I’m now going to be nagging a lot to get her to give up smoking. Thank you everyone for the tweets, texts and emails asking how she was. Very, very much appreciated.)

(It also showed me that I really do need to look at hiring a member of staff as one man band’s may have their limitations. That or I need to bump all my relatives off so that I don’t get disturbed at future events. Hmm, I think this par may want to carry the hashtag #ohyeahyou’relaughingnowbutyouweren’tlastnight )

Meanwhile back at the Scottish Social Media Dinner…

Steve Leach never made it, so Iain Bruce stepped up. I know he was going to talk about SEO and pass on tips on that. I know he was going to counter some of my points – fantastic as that’s the point because, as I said, there’s more than one way of doing all of this – and I really hope that he said SEO instead of Seach Engine Optimisation all the time otherwise he’ll have gone on for ages.

Some people appear to have gone on to make a night of it, judging by the “it’s 2am and I’m just home from #ssmd” tweets I saw (either that or Iain really did go on).

If Iain wants to post a summary of his points in the comments section, he is more than welcome to do so (or someone else).

The Business Result from the Scottish Social Media Dinner

A part of these sort of events is always about gathering business/networking and I’m delighted that Annie from The Beluga Club was picked up by a couple of the civillians in the restaurant to go and teach them how to use Twitter and social media. Yay! Drinks on her next time

What was missed out

Due to me running out the door, one thing I never really got the chance to do was point out the audience. This was an audience I would have paid the £17.50 for before worrying about food and speakers. Now a few people have asked for a list of attendees. A few people have said they would rather not be on any lists, so here’s the deal: if you want people to know you were there, leave details below – twitter names, website addresses – and I’ll compile it all.

Final thoughts

It wasn’t dull. I’d like to think that everyone got something out of it, even if it was minor. The aim of the night was for speakers not to be self-promoting (heck I could have rabitted on about the whisky at the south pole story that went everywhere after a podcast and blog post from Contently Managed) if you were there in a business capacity but to share tips and advice. I hate events where people stand for 40 minutes and go ‘look how good I am’. That does nothing for nobody. I wanted people to be challenged, have some ideas put to them and go away thinking about them (on a full stomach).

As for the restaurant, service was a bit ropey. The staff were a bit hesitant in getting dishes as they didn’t want to cut across speakers and I thought the drink service was a bit slow, but I can’t fault the food and the staff were very pleasant, so I’m giving the venue a pass on that basis.

Should there be another Scottish Social Media Dinner? Well, that’s up to others. I’m happy to organise. I have some ideas for the next one that’s a bit less emphasis on the digital PR aspect. It will be a different venue. And I am happy to announce that the speakers will be Jordan, Prince Charles and Simon Cowell (please note: all speakers are subject to change at the very last minute, if not last second).

In closing, thanks again to everyone who came along, hopefully see you all soon. And thanks to the staff at Monklands Hospital as well, for doing their bit. It may not have been social media, but it was damn important.